Merry Christmas everyone!

I owe you a post, but it's getting late, I still need to do presents under the tree, and Lily keeps waking up every 15 minutes!

I could have a lot to talk about today, but I am completely wiped out from Lily's eye appointments at Children's Hospital today. Orthoptics went fine... Lily played along and was fairly cheerful throughout it all, and her eyes looked great, which was good to know. But then it took TWO HOURS for her to see the ophthalmologist (the appointment was scheduled for just after orthoptics). And then they wanted to dilate her pupils to check her prescription, which would have added another HOUR onto the wait. Uh, no. She was very well behaved in the waiting room, which was nice, but I had Dario and the kids to pick up at school. As it is, I battled traffic and rain to pick everyone up at 5. Made pancakes for supper. Dealt with irate husband, though he's since come around.

And now she won't get her prescription checked for six months. Annoyed, but I simply couldn't have stayed a minute longer. Grrrrr.

School is winding down this week for the girls. Everything is winding down. Field trip today, pancake breakfast and craft day tomorrow, "Christmas around the world" lunch on Thursday. Last day of musical theatre and ballet coming up, off to see The Nutcracker on Sunday, Solstice Party coming up, and then CHRISTMAS. Did that seem to sneak up quickly? It seemed like it was weeks away, and then... no. It's in a week. Good thing I'm pretty much ready. Other than cleaning the house for the party. Anyone want to come? You're totally all invited.

First up, Rowen and the Candy Flutes. Rowen's class performed with another Kindergarten class. They formed four circles, two in front and two in back. Rowen is in the front left circle, dark blue velvet dress, curls tumbling down her back. When she circles around, she's the one beside the girl with the polkadot dress. The little kerfluflle in the middle of the song is because the choreography had just been changed; the little boy beside her didn't remember they were supposed to hold hands and switch places with the back circle. Rowen is a little mother; it bothered her IMMENSELY that he wouldn't take her hand. Enough preamble already:


Next up, Miriam in The Waltz of the Flowers. Here, Miriam is a ballerina, surrounded by flowers (first row), butterflies and beetles (second row) and gardeners (third row). Two classes, again, both Grade 1-2-3 splits. Miriam has to improvise her ballet, and I think she does a damn fine job. The girl is perhaps made for the stage. She would certainly say that she is. Again, le voila:


And just one picture, of everyone all dressed up for the evening concert. The girls LOVE these pink, frothy dresses.

I don't know how many of you have seen this trailer for the movie Babies. If you're in the birth and baby world, you might have. It follows four babies through their first year of life, in Namibia, Tokyo, Mongolia and San Francisco. I think it looks so interesting (and yes, I'll admit that every time I watch it, I wipe away tears). Due out in April!

I did it! After mucking about with Wordpress for what seems like HOURS (actually, it really WAS hours), I've managed to add a blog to my doula site. I'm hoping that once I get some of the introductory stuff out of the way, I'll be able to keep track of and link all the interesting birth stuff that seems to come across the blogosphere. Just a little something to get clients and potential clients aware of all the information that's out there. And just to stand out in a crowd.

Well... I'm certified through DONA. Just found out today! That's one cert down, one more to go.

A bit of quiet before everyone returns from the Christmas concert. I would have gone, but it would have been a late night for Lily, so my mother-in-law went in my place. Good for her to see the girls, and good for me to be able to focus on an overwrought kindergartner, without an overwrought toddler vying for attention. I went to the noon show anyway.

There is just something about this school. I don't know. I'm not a gung-ho PAC mom, though I volunteer where I can, but really I can't take any credit for what I'm about to write. You know, it's just... what can I say. The teachers, the parents, the kids... they worked their butts off for this show. Dario told me that the stage design crew (a group of about 5 teachers) stayed until midnight setting up stage last Friday. It is amazing what they were able to do with PAPER. Seriously. The music teacher is part-time. All music teachers are part-time... there's just no funding for the arts, and yet... they put on The Nutcracker. THE NUTCRACKER. And then, THEN the school had these crappy little lights, that sat on the floor and occasionally burned toddlers who wandered by. When it happened yesterday at the rehearsal, the principal had the lights thrown out. And then a parent who owns a production or stage or something company volunteered a light and sound set-up for the show. It was amazing. I mean... I wish I had pictures. There were light towers and spot lights and coloured lights and this giant board that controlled it all... I don't know. It just really surprised me how much work was put into this one-day production, at a public school, in a not-so-great neighbourhood. And it surprises me every year, but this year they really outdid themselves. You know, it's not a great neighbourhood - improving due to the high cost of real estate in these parts - but really, sort of lower socio-economic. The school has no money, because the parents have no money, and yet they pull together to make sure these things happen. And The Nutcracker. I mean, for my family, it's like bread-and-butter. Those girls love a good ballet, because they are totally kooky. But for so many of those kids, this is their only exposure to classical music. I don't know. It was just really touching.

You know, just a tangent. I remember a parent talking about a student art-raffle at her kids school. REALLY good neighbourhood, but still a public school, and they did a student art-raffle to raise money for the school. And someone paid $1500 for a papier-mache bowl. Seriously. How can poor JP compete? Okay, tangent over.

Everyone keeps telling me how amazing Miriam is. I'll have to post the video. It's not really a solo, but she's the only ballerina dancing among a bunch of flowers. I'm so damned proud of her. It's strange, because I always knew she could sing and that she had a knack for dance, but at the same time, I'm her mom, and I'm supposed to think she's amazing. So I tend to discount it, and just focus on the fact that she enjoys it. But yeah, maybe I'm not so off-base on that one.

My mom also made it out, which was a surprise. She was supposed to be working, but she was able to leave early. Happiness all around.

Oh, but Butter Boy... I'm sorry to say the magic wasn't there. But the memory still made me smile all through the show.

And then! Can you believe my day even got better? I WON SOMETHING! I WON A CLOTH PAD! YES ME! It's this one here. I've seriously never won anything, and I'm just so damned excited! I've got some MAIL coming! Woot!

Today felt okay. Though I haven't seen much of Dario yet. He'll be home in about 15 minutes... I wonder how it will go. Everytime one of us feels like extending an olive branch, the other feels like spurning it. Ah well, we'll see.

The girls had their dress rehearsal for their school Christmas concert today. I brought _broxa_ along and she brought lattes (thanks again!). I took video of their dances since my mom can't make it to the concert, and I'm toying with the idea of sharing it with you all. Though of course it's only amazingly cute and darling to me, and maybe my sista. Miriam was such a star... her class did "Waltz of the Flowers" from the Nutcracker, and she was the one and only ballerina amongst all the flowers and butterflies and gardeners. She was so ON. She's a diva, for sure. You know, she also sang into Michael Mitchell's microphone during his concert at the school. The girl loves to perform. Rowen was very darling (she was a candy flute), but not very visible. Too many kindergartners, I tell you.

Butter Boy (only_broxa_ will get that, but she'll really enjoy it!).

After the concert, we came back here to hang out and eat pastries. Rowen and Lily ate nothing but sugar all day. My bad. I organized my cupboards, _broxa_ sewed some buttons on a shirt for me. It was all very domestic (and idyllic!).

After school I had our future teen babysitter over. Dario and I desperately need a teen babysitter, if we ever want to start having a life outside of childrearing and his mother (our regular Sunday babysitter). She's such a sweet kid. The girls asked if we could go out tomorrow night, so that she could come over, so I think they like her. We'll aim for a few runs over the holidays. It is a relief to have some relief on the horizon.

Ah well. Best be putting Miriam to bed. A bientot.

This is for my Vancouver peeps...

You all seriously know this house, right? The Hobbit House? Haven't you always wanted a look inside?

Thanks, tracied , for bringing it to my attention!

I'm so exhausted. Absolutely drained. I hope I'm not getting sick again... hope it's just that time of the month again (which it is, any hour now).

Last night I was sort of back-and-forth with someone on facebook, talking about my blog and checking out hers, and just sort of... reminiscing about her amazing homebirth. Because I'd told her about this here blog, I started wondering just what she was reading, because I never feel that I really write about anything, you know? I mean, I'm trying to be more honest about my feelings, and trying to reach out more (than I normally would) when I'm feeling down, but, really... it doesn't seem like I write about much. And I'm so irregular with my posts. So.

So I started reading my own blog, in reverse. And I really liked it. I really liked how little things were recorded... things that I totally would have forgotten about, like having to triple lock the bag of chocolate chips in the fridge, because Lily kept breaking into them over the summer.

So much of my time is spent doing the same thing. My DITL repeated over and over and over and over. It can get so lonely and repetitive that I just want to scream. And then. And then I see it, in pictures or in words, and I'm so glad I started doing this. I wish I'd done it sooner. I wish I made more of an effort. I wish, I wish.

So I think I'll make more of an effort.

This is the first night all week that I've been able to lie Lily down in bed and walk away. She's been sleeping on my chest in the sling (it's awkward! She's gigantic!), waking every now and then to hack up a lung. I knew she was sick, because she'd never ask to nurse after a coughing fit... just sit there for a second with her head swaying, eyes drooping, then back asleep. She was actually pretty normal today... still a bit cranky, but not rundown and haggard looking. Man, redheads look rough when they are sick.

( Sort of rambly and depressing-like )( Read more... )

Wowza. What a ramble. I'm actually feeling a bit more upbeat than all of that might indicate. I think it's the joy of December coming on. I've been brainstorming some ideas for gifts, and took a look at all the decorations piled up in the garage (not until after November 29, mind) and started to look for some solstice images for the solstice party invitation, and it kinda sorta made me feel pretty good. Hopeful like.

Lily be sick now. Same thing as Rowen, probably, but her lungs are handling it better. She was burning up last night, nursing constantly and is asleep on the breast right now. Generally she is fine during the day (fever down), but cranky and always in arms. I can't lay her down worth a damn, and she's too big for her sling. Me escape baby now?

It is such a wonderful blessing to still be breastfeeding her. I feel she'd be sicker if I wasn't... comfort and hydration and antibodies, oh my! It's a nice coincidence that while thinking upon extended breastfeeding, I found this video:


Just don't read the comments... you might want to scream.

Another day home sick with Rowen. She's much better - still has the horrible cough, but no fever and playing normally. Maybe she *could* have gone back to school today, but meh, it's Friday, and everyone would assume she was contagious, so why bother. I'm glad she's clear... I hate respiratory distress hanging over my head.

But... I'm so bored and lonely. The house is a mess, but I'm just not motivated to do anything about it. I've been hanging out on my Friends Page, waiting for updates, but it's been pretty slow. Even facebook was a bust. Bah. I could use some social time. I'm very tired of being home with sick kids... it's the story of my life, these days.

I just sold 7 goodmama OBV and 1 Rainbow Shine Pampered Cheek diapers. I'm happy to make some money, but I'm feeling sad to see them go! The mama was really nice and really excited to get them (so I KNOW they're going to a good home!), but still... good-bye fluffy goodness:(

Rowen saw the doctor yesterday. The doctor thinks she has bronchitis, and wants to see her tomorrow if she hasn't improved. The cough is concerning, but not too much of an issue during the day. At night, I debate... go to emergency or not. It honestly sounds that bad. I try to trust my instincts, I mean, no alarm bells are ringing, but it's hard. I know that when she had RSV as a baby, my instinct was screaming at me to seek help, ditto Lily and her bouts of respiratory distress. But still... fear grips my heart. What if anything should happen to her?

Dario also saw the doctor. He's been experiencing bouts of nausea, that end with an overwhelming desire to pass out. He did pass out once. It's been going on since he was sick in September. "Geez, honey, don't you think you should go to the doctor?" He did a bit of research; he's been taking Cold Fx, and he found out that nausea and passing out can be a side effect (maybe stop taking it?) but the doctor is still going to do a complete physical and blood work-up on him. So, a little nervous there, but I'm thinking he'll be okay. His physical is for December 4, which seems a long time from now, but really isn't.

We also got a referral for Miriam, to talk about her behaviour things. The doctor wasn't sure if we'd get referredt to a pediatrician or to a behaviour clinic of some sort... her behaviours are pretty mild, and the school hasn't had any concerns. We were asked if the school would do a psycho-educational assessment, and they won't... they don't do them until grade 3, and only in extreme cases. We'd have to pay for it ourselves, and I haven't looked into it at all, but Dario was thinking it costs thousands of dollars. I find THAT hard to believe, but no wonder parents find it hard to act. Anyway, I know the pediatrician she would refer to (not Lily's great pediatrician, but that woman really works far away now, so I'm okay with it). His philosophy, when a parent comes to him with concerns of autism in a child:
1. Trust the parent
2. Trust the parent
3. Trust the parent
Imagine that! A doctor who believes that parents have insight into their children!

There was something else, but it escapes me...

Oh! Star Trek! Dario and I are finally watching the new movie. My inner geek is thrilling to it. So many good, geeky memories... Star Trek throughout the years. You don't know just how happy it makes me, to get all the Star Trek in-jokes. We'll have to finish it tonight, since we got a late start on it last night.

Also, someone is supposed to come by today and pick up all my GM OBV's. I'm sort of sad about that, though I'm sort of happy to get a good chunk of money for them. This is the lady who contacted me. I wish I knew how to sew or knit... I'd be all over the hyenacart on-line shop. Anyway, for those of you in the cloth diapering world, check her out! I sure do wish me another baby sometimes...

So... maybe that's it. Lily has fallen asleep, so I'm going to go turn the TV off and play cards with Rowen. Though, speaking of Rowen, I meant to post this picture of her in her Halloween costume. It's a picture of a picture, so forgive the quality, but it's honestly the picture I pictured myself taking of her. You got that?
( Kookiness awaits here )

( My DITL... enter at your own risk... )
So... what do you think:? Pretty boring, but a really interesting project. It made me realize just how special these repetitive, boring days can be.

So... I haven't freaked out yet. Rowen's cough is still nasty, and when she coughs and cries she's really uncomfortable, but she's mostly been calm. We spent a bit of time last night and this morning with the bathroom all steamy, and that helped her relax. Fever is still minimal, and is responding to tylenol.

Dario has an appointment with our doctor this afternoon. I called to let them know I'd be bringing in Rowen so they could listen to her chest. Luckily my mom was planning to come down, so that I can leave Lily with her... I'm sure she's been exposed to what Rowen has, but at least I won't have to expose her to everything else in the waiting room.

Can I just say that it's impossible to get through to a doctor's office these days. 20 minutes of hitting re-dial, then more time on hold. Tis the season... Ho Ho Ho hum.

I did indeed do a DITL today (I'll warn you, it's REEEEAlly boring...) but I can't get it posted tonight. We're on respiratory distress watch with Rowen, who is coming down with something fast and furiously. The cough is more of a bark, and once she starts coughing and crying, she can't stop, and I don't think she can breathe. She's calm in front of a movie right now. I'm going to see if she'll take some tylenol for her low-grade fever, and hope it doesn't progress in the night.

Yesterday was Rowen's birthday, and her party. It went really well. I'd invited 5 kids from her class (the four other girls, and one boy), but one girl couldn't make it, and the boy was sick all week and didn't get his invitation, and one girl's mom said they were coming then called to say they couldn't make it. Which was fine, because the 2 girls who came are the most amazing little darlings and are so cute when they're with Rowen. We also invited some family friends (they have two daughters; one in grade 4 and the other in Miriam's class) and they came(and the parents stayed to hang out) and it was just really nice. All the kids played well together, no one went crazy, Rowen DIDN'T get a pile of presents, and really loves the ones she got, and it was just really nice and low key. When the party ended, the 2 little girls went home, and our friends stayed for play and pizza until 5 pm. We let the girls watch a movie after that... all in all, a winning formula for birthday parties. No more crazy parties for me... well only one (our annual solstice party), but birthday parties are going to be SMALL. I usually end up feeling obligated to invite people: family friends, neighours who they don't play with, siblings,... you know, obligations. But no more. Good friends only.

Unfortunately, we didn't get many pictures. Dario should never be in charge of the camera. I don't even think we got one of the cake. I'll see what I can download some later. For now, nak.

I can't believe my little Rowen is 5. She's a joy, and always has been. Such a gentle birth, such a gentle child. Unique, funny and smart. She's all that (and a bag of chips -I'm sending that one out to my sister). I was reading over my midwife's notes from the birth... doesn't seem like that long ago, and yet it seems like another life. I really can't believe she's five!

Doesn't this look great?! I've heard it described as The Business of Being Born, but for breastfeeding, or a Food, Inc., but for babies. It's currently still in production, but can you not wait to see it? I'd have you all over for a screening; I think it'll just be so incredible. Here's hoping that the Doula Services Association will have a screening...

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